Women’s Point System

In the world of Romance, One single Rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system…

Simple Duties
You make the bed……………………………………………+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows……….0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets……………………-1
You leave the toilet seat up…………………………………-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it’s empty……………….0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex……..-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light pantyliners with wings…….+5
But return with beer………………………………………..-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night………………………0
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing……………….0
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s something…………….+5
You pummel it with a six iron……………………………….+10
It’s her father……………………………………………-10

Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly………..-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to Get Rid of it…+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts……….-5

Finances
You spend a lot of money on something impractical…………-5
Something she can’t use……………….-10
Such as a motorized model airplane…………..-20
And she got a small appliance for her birthday………….-40

Driving
You lost the directions on a trip…………..-4
You lost the directions and end up getting lost…………..-10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town……..-15
You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close and personal………-25
You know them………-60

The Big Question
She asks, “Do I look fat?”……………..-5
(Sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
You hesitate in responding…………-10
You reply, “Where?”………..-35

Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression……0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes……….+5
You listen for more than 30 min. without looking at the TV……..+10
She realizes this is because you’ve fallen asleep………….-20

Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party……….0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy……..-2
Named Tiffany………………..-4
Tiffany is a dancer……………….-6
Tiffany has implants……………….-8
When mingling, you hold your mate’s hand and gaze at her lovingly………..+1
When mingling, you introduce her as “the ol’ ball and chain” and pat her on the rump……….-5
When your mate points toward a hot-looking woman and asks you if you think she is attractive, you say, “Yes, but nowhere near as attractive as you”…………….+1
When your mate points to a woman and asks if you think she’s attractive, you say, “Yeah, but she’s lousy in bed”……-6
That woman is her sister………………..-90
You have one drink, and that’s it…………….0
You have more than a few & perform the tango with a poodle………-2
You have a lot of drinks, vaguely remember being fingerprinted….-18

Saturday Afternoon
You go to the mall together…………………+3
You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then park the car………………..+4
You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then drive to a sports bar……………….-2
You spend the day shopping for furniture and pretend to like it….+3
You spend the day shopping for furniture, and nap on a sectional….0
You spend the day at a wholesale club, buying in bulk ………….+3
Most of it chips and beer …………..-6
You tackle a large household project, such as painting the den…………+15
Or refinishing the floors………………….+16
Or rewiring the basement………………..+17
Or adding a second floor…………….+18
Or setting up a Nerf Ball hoop over the bathroom wastebasket…….-6
And you’re tickled pink about it…………………-15
You visit her parents…………………0
You visit her parents and actually make conversation …………..+3
You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television ……..-3
And the television is off……………………-6
You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear………..-6
And you didn’t even go to college…………..-10
And it’s not your underwear………………..-15

Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner………………..0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar……………+1
Okay, it is a sports bar…………………….-2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night………………..-3
It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team…….-10
You go to a nice, pricey restaurant & hire a guitar player………+3
You go to a pricey restaurant, hire a guitar player and get up and sing………………………..+4
If you stink………………………..+2
If you’re not half bad……………………+5
You get up and sing a Barry Manilow song, and you’re escorted out to much applause………..-2
You give her a gift……………………0
You give her a gift and it’s a small appliance………….-10
You give her a gift and it’s not a small appliance ………..+1
You give her a gift, and it isn’t chocolate………………+2
You give her a gift that you’ll be paying off for months……….+30
You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day……..-10
With her credit card……………-30
And whatever you bought is two sizes too big……….-40

Thoughtfulness
You forget her birthday completely…………………..-20
You forget your anniversary…………………-30
You forget to pick her up at the bus station………..-45
Which is in Newark, New Jersey……………….-50
And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast………….-60

A Night Out With The Boys
Go out with a pal ………………………-5
And the pal is happily married ……………….-4
Or frighteningly single ………………..-7
And he drives a Mustang………………..-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)……………-15
You have a few beers……………..-9
And miss curfew by an hour……………..-12
You miss curfew by an hour and you didn’t call………………..-20
You get home at 3 am………………..-30
You get home at 3 am smelling of booze and cheap cigars………..-40
And not wearing any pants………………….-50
Is that a tattoo??……………..-200

Her Night Out
You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friend from work……………….+5
She goes out with her annoying work friends, and she comes home late……………..+10
You wait up…………………..+15
She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put her to bed……….+20

A Night At Home
You watch TV together……………..0
You rent a movie……………+2
You rent a movie and it’s SENSE & SENSIBILITY……………….+3
It’s SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you stay awake throughout………….+5
It’s SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you fall asleep…………………..-1
It’s SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you fall asleep and drool………….-2

A Night Out
You take her to a movie……………………+2
You take her to a movie she likes……………….+4
You take her to a movie you hate ……………….+6
You take her to a movie you like……………..-2
It’s called DeathCop 3…………………..-3
Which features cyborgs having sex………………-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans………..-15

Flowers
You buy her flowers only when it’s expected…………………… 0
You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it……..+20
You give her wildflowers you’ve actually picked yourself……….+30
And she contracts Lyme disease………………………………-25

About the Author

Samson Akpaka is a humour writer and editor of Afrowall, http://www.afrowall.com.

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Status Of Freshwater Fishery In Washim District (Maharashtra) With Relation To Capture And Culture Fishery And Socio-Economic Condition

Introduction: -

            The Vidarbha region of Maharashtra state has a water spread area around 1.17 lakh hectare, which is 33 per cent of the freshwater area of the   Maharashtra state. Out of that 80 per cent is under fish culture. The average fish production from the ponds ranged between 400 to 600 Kg/Ha/Yr. An integrated approach is needed to boost the aquatic production atleast to 2000 Kg/Ha/Yr. through scientific means. Previously Maharashtra Fisheries Department was solely dependent on import of fish seed from Calcutta (Howra). But now a day, State is becoming self sufficient to procure the required quantities of fish seed from there fish seed production and rearing units. Scientific efforts were made to breed the fishes under controlled conditions and circular type of hatcheries is constructed at most of the fish seed farm. ‘‘Social & economic development of fisherman/fish farmers through blue revolution“ is the goal of Maharashtra state. The Washim district is one of the important district of Maharashtra state for the fish production & natural water resources. There is wide scope for the further development in the fisheries sector hence the present survey has been undertaken to show the role of fisheries in food production & development of Agro based industries. Such type of survey and study has been presented by number of investigator. However no detail study has been reported on the above aspect from Washim district, therefore it has been undertaken for the study.

Material & method: -

            Geographically Washim district is located in between longitude 16.61-21.16 N and latitudes 76.7-77.4 E. This Geographical area of the district is 513 hectares (In thousand). The district is consisting of six talukas, these are Washim, Risod, Malagaon, Manora, Magrulpir & Karanja (lad). The total population of the district is 10,19,000 (as per 2001) out of 8,41,000 is a rural population & 1,78,000 is urban population. For the above study the rivers, lakes, reservoirs & fish farm have been selected for the collection of fish and observation of cultural practices. Harvesting methods & Crafts & gears were observed during harvesting programme. Similarly the information data also collected by the visits to Fisheries Development Office and also during training programme of members of fish co-operative societies, fish farmers and fisherman conducted by fisheries deptt. of Krishi Vigyan Kendra, Karda Tq. Risod, Distt. Washim. The fish fauna has been identified by using method by Day (1957) & Jayram (1981). The Socio-economic study has been made by the oral interviews of the fish farmers, fisherman, fish broker and fish sellers in the market.

Result & discussion: -

             Green revolution in India has made us self sufficient in the production of food grains. It is a great success of Indian people & the Govt. agencies because by this revolution the entire socio-economic life of the Indian farmers has been changed & the economy of India is also maintained. In comparison with green revolution the blue revolution has not become so popular as green revolution. So many factors are responsible for that. However, now days this fishery sector is developing on the axis of new millennium. In the field of fishery Jhingran (1980), Jhingran & Pullin (1985), Srinivasan (1993), Sugunan (1997) & Lyer et.al. (1993) has been worked on fisheries & socio-economic aspect. In the present study a survey has been made & it reveals that district is having seasonal inland capture & culture fishery. The culture fishery includes culture of Indian major carps like Catla, rohu, mrigal, Common carp i.e. Cyprinus carpio & Grass carp. The culture fishery is carried out through the lakes & reservoirs of the district. At presently 75 state level tanks, 168 district level tanks, 24 Gram panchyat, 3  Nagar palika & Other 40 tanks i.e.310 tanks having 5012 ha water  area is available for fish culture as shown in Table I. The Washim district has been carved out from Akola district from 1 July 1998. At presently, Washim district has no State Govt. fish seed farm, but it is proposed at Ekburji project, Washim. So the demand of the fish seed of Washim district is fulfilled by State Govt. fish seed farm at Mahan, Katepurna project, Tq. Barshitakli (Table II) in Akola district, which is having area of 7.70 ha with total 43 ponds. There are more than 1500 farm ponds (size 20 x 20 x 3 Meter) were excavated by Agriculture Dept. and various NGO for water conservation. There is need to utilize this existing infrastructure by introducing Magur (Claries batrachus), for that Magur fish seed production is required. Suvide Foundation Krishi Vigyan Kendra, Karda Tq. Risod, Dist. Washim will established such hatchery in future for utilize this existing infrastructure under the sponsored project funded by Department Of Biotechnology, New Delhi.

     Two types of fisheries have been observed in the district i.e. reservoir capture & riverine capture fishery. The fishery is carried out in winter as well as rainy season then the summer season because many water bodies’ dries up in the summer season. In this area fishery is generally carried out by the gill net & cast net. The gill nets are locally known as boti, when single finger passes through the mesh size that is called ekboti, when two fingers passes called donboti like that. For the collection of small size fishes & fingerlings, macchar jal is used. Drag net, which are generally used in farms, are called as wodh jal for catching of Large Size fishes. The reverine fishery is carried out in the rivers, these are Painganga, Katapurna, Bembla, Chandrabhaga, Adhan, Pus and their small tributaries flowing through the district. Similarly the Ekburji, Borala, Adhan are the main source of fishery from the district. At presently, the fish production from the larger reservoir is 50-100 Kg/Ha/Yr and 1200 to 1400 Kg/Ha/Yr fish production is recorded under the Fish Farmer Developing Agencies (FFDA) Scheme. The socio-economic and socio-cultural accepts of fishing communities have been reported by various workers. Jhingran (1980), Pillay (1958), Lyer et.al (1993) studied the socio-cultural and socio-economic in India. It is observed from a sample study, that more than 35 per cent fisherman are illiterate, nearly 70 per cent landless, more than 90 per cent below poverty line and their income from fisheries is not even adequate for subsistence, despite the fact that nearly 65 per cent fisherman are exclusively dependent on the fish farming (Wayal & Ingle, 1994). This district is having 2516   population of fisherman, there are 69 fisheries co-operative societies are registered but few societies are active. The proportion of inactive members is very large & the so-called active members do not get any chance in decision making of the cooperative societies. The executive members, mostly one or two, who dominate the working of societies play the game. Thus, in last decades cooperative societies could not do anything substantial for the economic development of the poor fisherman. Also low productivity of the ponds may be linked to the socio-economic backwardness of the members of the cooperative societies.

             Sound marketing infrastructure is inevitable for increasing income of the fisherman. The availability of market, remunerative prices and adequate conveyance are necessary in this regard. Generally Bohi, K-ahar, Zinga Bohi, Koli and Muslims are some communities, which are directly involved in the fisheries and in the marketing sector. There is no preservation and processing industry in the district. Generally local fish sellers preserved their fish with ice into locally made cement tanks in the market. The fish farmers or fisherman are selling their fishes to middlemen or agent & these agents supplies the fishes to the retailers and small fish sellers. The fish fauna of the district is consisting of major carps, exotic carps, minor carps, predatory fishes, migratory fishes and weed fishes as shown in Table III.

 Conclusion 

 The present study reveals that this district is having the great network of reverine system and distribution of smaller & larger pockets available for fish culture and capture fisheries, but the natural water resources has been not properly utilized presently. Aquaculture is restricted in this area mainly with major carps culture. For better economic returns prawns such as M.malcomsonii and M.rosenbergii should be incorporated along with carp culture. Also C.batrachus called magur will be useful for farm ponds available in the district. Stocking of fish fingerlings should be undertaken in reservoirs for better harvest. Better-feed management and fertilization management should be undertaken for better growth performance of species & production. Regular training to the fisherman or to the persons engaged in fishery should be imparted. The extension activities should be made vigorous for the purpose. Proper coordination between various fisheries departments should be made. There should be a concrete programme for the development of socio-economic condition of fisherman’s and fish farmers. There is an urgent need to establish the State Govt. fish seed hatchery (Chinese circular hatchery) for fish seed production for Washim district.

Acknowledgement:

Author is grateful to Chairman Suvide Foundation, Training Organiser Krishi Vigyan Kendra, Karda, Risod for providing the laboratory facilities and for encouragement during the completion of the work. The authors are thankful to staff members of Krishi Vigyan Kendra, Karda, Risod for providing the data available with them.  

References:

B.C.Mohapatra, P.G.Ingole, G.M.Bharad (1999) Aquaculture: With special reference to Vidarbha, Maharashtra State.

Rao, P.S. (1973) Problem of management of fish marketing and co-operatives FIE: PC/73/10 Bombay 

Sugunan, V.V. (1997) Reservoir fishery of India, Daya publication, Delhi.

Pillay, T.V.R. (1956)  Socio-economic development of fishermen community in India. All Indian Fisheries exhibition Cuttack 92-94.

Govt.of Maharashtra (1973) Fishery development in Maharashtra state Sea food export journal Vol.V. No.1,121-123

Jayaram K.C. (2002) Fundamental of fish taxonomy. Narendra publication, Delhi.

Jhingran A. G. (1980) Riverine fishery resources of India and their socio cultural impact. Tropical Ecology and Development 747 756.

About the Author

R.L.Kale

Subject Matter Specilist (Fisheries)

Krishi Vigyan Kendra

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